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10:44pm 21/07/2008
  Sometimes I just want to tear that man's tongue out.  
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12:58pm 17/06/2008
  I'd like to say something,
but I'm choking on stupid.		  
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"you look so good, i could drink your bath water."   
04:11pm 21/11/2005
 
mood: crazy
music: "the world is a vampire"
wow, i haven't been on in here in such a long time.

and probably will forget about it again after today...

oh well.

same username on xanga though.... if you're interested.

peace out.		  
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friggin bee-otches   
03:03pm 17/05/2005
 
mood: moodswingin
music: "llok closer- are you like me? are you ugly?"
well...
stuff i've written in here lately has been very... well, incredibly angry
and i somewhat apologize
been moodswingin like a mofo lately
...
not so much to update on
life sucks
need a way out
schools almost out, thank god






i fear that i will remain in this one fruitless place forever...






where is my muse?		  
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fuckerzzz   
03:10pm 16/05/2005
 
mood: grrarrr
music: you got it bad - usher
eh, been a while since ive written shit in here
oh well no one cares anyway
this shit is so pointless
later bitches
yes, you are all dirty bitches




burn in hell mother fuckers		  
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kfsdb.kiafhsdl   
03:43pm 10/05/2005
 
mood: bitchy
music: "does it make you happy now?!?!"
Your punk rock band name: The Fucked Up Spork

just thought i'd add something
I'M SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF EVERYONE ASSUMING THEY KNOW ME
YOU DON'T
NO ONE FUCKING DOES
BACK THE HELL OFF IF ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO IS ASSUME BULLSHITH THINGS ABOUT ME AND SHOVE THEM IN MY FACE LIKE THEY'RE TRUE
FUCK ALL OF YOU

...

you know who you are		  
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muhahahahahaha- *breaks into coughing fit*   
03:13pm 10/05/2005
 
mood: freaked-up
music: pearl jam- "jeremy"
gaw!
hAte being sick (that's right fools, h-A-t-e, emphasis on the "A")
anyways
nada mucho of importante-ness hur
bleh
can't thinka so well
goddammed anti-BIOtics
dude, never noticed that before, anti-bio, bio meaning life, therefore anti-bio meaning anti-life
ho hum, tres interessant, go figure
wellooo
hoe
bitche
skank
*says 'slut' in arabic*

"christina, you've just failed the AP psychology test, what are you gonna do next??"

eh bleh blah blue
whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh, yo
*ka-fucking-pow*

wrote a weird azz poem yesterday
to post or not to post...
you guys'll think i'm f-in craZy
ah well, as amantha pointed out today i aM!
(muhaha?)
so here goes nada...
(it's weird and has this intro-bit and all, bear with me, folks)

"He held her and she felt his hard chest and stomach and hipbones and she felt his strong heart beating like the sound of all the stories she could ever hope to tell."

This is the way I feel about you.

blood seeping through the sheets
like helium and smoke
and you
you make me feel
icy hot
fiery cold
burning freezing
i feel our bleeding beats
and want
to taste dance touch sing smell
crisp cool sweet
eat me
languid moist
pollen nectar honey
baby
fruit pulp
fruit juice
i become
filled
juicy and dry
so sweet
so bitter
i am
cold and hot
ice and fire
sleeping and alert
awake and dreaming
i become like you




so there it is
tada
no words to describe it really...
like jessica said: "it's good, but... *makes random arm and hand gestures*... i don't really know how to describe it"
yup yup yup

this is me folks, WEird
did you ever notice spoken and smokin' rhyme??




"if there's a light at the end of the tunnel, just go for it"		  
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i do what i wanna   
02:50pm 09/05/2005
 
mood: light headed
music: blink 182
"As he left her, the yearning in him was worse than ant loss he could imagine. He wished he had not let go."

It's gotten to a point that I can't discern whether they're fake or I am.

i over complicate overthink overanalyze
...
i instigate intimidate
...
i just worry too goddamn fucking much

*sings: dont count on me to let you know when, dont count me ill do it again, dont count on me, the point youre missin, dont count on me cause im not listenin*

well, i have not much to say
'cept ima crazy ass hoe bag biatch

ah well
better to be true to myself
then to give into them

but at what cost?		  
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if i culd be like them would you see me? would you see me?   
03:10am 07/05/2005
 
mood: f-in insane, yo!
music: breaking benjamin- so cold, acoustic version
dude, so can not type my own friggin username
*ka-pow*
just wrote a bunch of crazy possessed-azz shiAt on my xanga...
just ignore the crazy girl huddled in the corner mumbling "curse you all" in between random dirty words

maaan, ash's keyboard is all fuuuucked
there are like no actual letters on any of the keys
i am typing from memory
damn, i kick so mucho azz, yo

somethin takes a part of me
somethin lost and never seem
everytime i start to believe
somethins raped and taken from me

yo
i am fucking NOT TIRED
but was tired all day.... WTF???
muahahahahahahaha
i shall stalk hack kill burn rape you all

somethin takes a part of me

feelin like a freak on a leash

*pow*
nothing in my life IS free, how 'bout that?

dude-ness
i feel fuckin weird as shit
someone call me
(you lame asses are probably all sleeping ... it's fucking 3:16 a.m. --i envy you all--)
save me from myself		  
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is your wife a wal martian? are you outer space?   
03:16pm 06/05/2005
 
mood: drugged
music: "slow ride.... take it easy..."
shibbidy...

well, today was an f-d up day...
lalala, AP testing
in one of my essays i started rambling on about the happy little puritan farmers... no joke
anyhoe
meh
bleh
blah
duuuude
these antibiotics are totally messin with my brain
HeLlO tHeRe
i feel sloooow and giddy and blah and *whoosh* crazy as fuck
so, people suck
yeah
that's all i have to say
i hate everyone
(ok, not all of you, but MOST of you)
so.... bite me!

*hauls ass out of angry mob*		  
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the fuck?   
03:37pm 05/05/2005
 
mood: hacking my way into happiness
music: "why are you running away?"
i think i may have just found something that makes me incredibly happy in a horribly sickening way

yey, me

i am a sick and terrible excuse for a human being and i deserve to rot in the fiery depths of the deepest hell

i love me!		  
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can i throw it all away?? take back what's mine??   
03:06pm 05/05/2005
 
mood: doped-up (yey! antibiotics!)
music: korn - here to stay
well-o my hoes
i have absolutely no life!
you wanna know where i've been spending most of my free time lately?
(no? well, that's just too damn bad!)
the library!
and you wanna know where i am now??
THE FUCKING LIBRARY!

*sigh*
before i begin to ramble i found something i''d like to share with you all:

THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY DEFECTIVE TEENS

HABIT 1: REACT
Blame all of your problems on your parents, your stupid teachers, or professors, your lousy neighborhood, your boy- or girlfriend, the government or something or somebody else. Be a victim. Take no responsibility for your life. Act like an animal. If you're hungry, eat. If someone yells at you, yell back. If you feel like doing something you know is wrong, just do it.

HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH NO END IN MIND
Don't have a plan. Avoid goals at all costs. And never think about tomorrow. Why worry about the consequences of your actions? Live for the moment. Sleep around, get wasted, and party on, for tomorrow we die.

HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS LAST
Whatever is most important in your life, don't do it until you have spent sufficient time watching reruns, talking endlessly on the phone, surfing the Net and lounging around. Always put off your homework until tomorrow. Make sure the things that don't matter always come before those that do.

HABIT 4: THINK WIN-LOSE
See life as a vicious competition. your classmate is out to get you, so you'd better get him or her first. Don't let anyone else succeed at anything because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like you're going to lose, however, make sure you drag that sucker down with you.

HABIT 5: SEEK TO TALK FIRST, THEN PRETEND TO LISTEN
You were born with a mouth, so use it. Make sure you talk a lot. Always express your side of the story first. Once you're sure everyone understands your views, then pretend to listen by nodding and saying "Uh-huh." Or if you really want their opinion, give it to them.

HABIT 6: DON'T COOPERATE
Let's face it, other people are weird because they're different from you. So why try to get along with them? Teamwork is for the dogs. Since you always have the best ideas, you are better off doing everything yourself. Be your own island.

HABIT 7: WEAR YOURSELF OUT
Be so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve yourself. Never study. Don't learn anything new. Avoid exercise like the plague. And for heaven's sake, stay away from good books, nature, or anything else that might inspire you.

---------------------------------------------------

hahaha
oh man, that really friggin cracks me up
anyway
everything is fucked as usual
so many things i cannot say here for fear of those who say they read this but never do and will, of course, the one time i write something about them or that would anger them
ah well
i'm not really caring right now
i am sick and on magical drugs that make me unable to feel
i am in super-zombie mode
*whoosh*
damn, are my reaction times s....l....o....w
nyah
anyway
fuckin'
meh

what's the goddamn point??		  
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touch top of metal housing to eliminate static charges   
05:41pm 03/05/2005
 
mood: drained
music: "no way can you stop me now, as fine as you are..."
dude
at the library b/c the compy at my house is being f-ing G-A-Y
anyway
today sucked
still does
might go out to eat with steph in an hour or so...
we shall see
anyway
not much to post
'cept im soooo craving a cigarette!!!
who's got one???
GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
muhahaha
anyway
nadadadablabla
later bitches		  
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coexisting w/o acknowledging... (at least it SOUNDS deep)   
04:13pm 02/05/2005
 
mood: blah
music: "the rhythm of love"
well yo
last weekend was crazy
three day weekend
thursday after school- downtown with dane to the DMA and the nasher (fun, fun)
thursday night-SLEEP! (yey!)
friday morning- helped gram move.... (eh bleh)
friday afternoon- went to steph's apt and did nada
friday night- fucked around with the gals and dane and rob... then somehow ended up spending the night at dane's house ALONE with him... (oddly awesome)
saturday morning- no sleep, went to jason's old apts with dane to get picked up by steph (slightly chilly)
saturday (day)- babysat, got bored and fixed up the lining on dane's trenchcoat...
saturday night- STYX CONCERT and the thirteen year olds who wanted my autograph (muhahahahahaha, i am just that cool)
sunday- helped gram again, was at my mom's, made this cigar box look totally kickass (it's actually a present for someone so i'm not going to describe it) then went out with steph and ash and rob to "minigolf" but we basically drove around for two hours doing nada of importance

*whoosh*
a full weekend, wow!
me? i know.....
anyway, gotta get some homework done bitches
call me, so i can get out of it!
muah!		  
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past present future   
01:27am 30/04/2005
  found this poem i wrote in my opendiary a long time ago... its really fucked up but i really like it... ENJOY!


you ripped out my heart
kicked me down
stood me up
slept around
i knew about
everything
but i was ever faithful
even when
you took back your ring
i know you hurt me
because you care
and i still love you
when youre not there
you hit me hard
across my face
its all my fault i know
i shouldnt have doubted you
youre only looking for my best
baby you hurt me bad
but youre still better
than the rest
i deserve it
when you beat me
i should remember my place		  
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crack, crack, let's all smoke crack   
12:37am 30/04/2005
 
mood: confused
music: NIN bite the hand that feeds......
yo hoes
well, this is tres weird
i'm at dane's house..... ALONE
...
*gives computer questioning look*
i'm still not sure how i got here
and/or why i am here by my lonesome
ah well
talk to you hoes later		  
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sexy black super easy breakable dollar store condoms!! *smiles*   
04:16pm 29/04/2005
 
mood: happy crazy *whoosh*
music: lonely no more.... rob thomas
eww! lube on lips!!!
trying to blow up lubed colorful dollar store condoms
hahaha
water balloon condoms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well-o,
i'm bored as FUCK
time to start a-cleanin sooooon
so happyhappyhappy

"i dont wanna be lonely no more... i dont wanna be angry no more..."

mmm.... i love rob thomas
gaw, that's weird to say
cuz that guy has the same name as my dad! *gasp*
eww...
haha, at the matchbox 20 concert, joy and i were talking to these chicks next to us on the lawn and she told them that and one chick was like "so you can get away with screaming rob in bed???"
i was just thinkin
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw
my poor little *un*virgin ears
muhahahaha
well, marshmallow buddies, time to CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!1
see y'all latersssssssssss

*ka-fucking-pow*		  
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"you know you're at a bad point in your life when a pigeon calls you a loser"   
03:18pm 29/04/2005
 
mood: bouncy
music: BYOB - system of a down
muhahaha!
its friday.... NO SCHOOL!
(grrarr... hate school want to drop out, not even because of the work, because of the drama.... i just cant take these people any goddamn more!)

*ka-pow*
anywayzzz,
yesterday totally fuckin rocked...
the best, the absolute best

anyway
think i broke up with tony
ah well
sick of all the drama bullshit
besides
its good to not be emotionally attached

someone should tell randy that*coughs*
anyway

talk to y'all later
call me
i'm bored as fuck
bout to walk to stephs and surprise her
so call the cell

later my hoe-bag biAtches		  
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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!   
04:22pm 22/04/2005
 
mood: eeeeeeeeecstatic!!!!
omg, you guys
i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!
like,
FUCKING ECSTATIC

anyway, cant write now
just thought i'd tell you guys im happy and not bummed like usual!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!		  
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....and life drags on....   
03:10pm 20/04/2005
 
mood: determined
music: "i dont wanna come back down from this cloud..."
eh-bleh
for some reason still upset at everything...
school grades TAKs friend lighter boys home mom moms new boyfriend joy dad lighter...
huh, didnt know i was mad about that
stupid chris
my stupid lighter

*sigh*
boys stink

im going to get that freakin lighter one way or another
just watch		  
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watermelonmagic
 
 
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